Monday, April 6, 2009

Unapologetically me

"If you want to improve, be content with being thought of as foolish and stupid" ~ Epictetus

I need reminders like these to put my doubts to a subtle whisper from their usual overpowering roar.

I live with my ex still. I've been helping him get back on his feet from his bout of unemployment. And during this time, we simply live in the present. Many times we carry on as though nothing has changed. We call this time 'savoring' the time we have left with each other. We love each other very much. We love our life together.

In the weeks to come, I'll start saving up what I need to move out on my own. I'm both excited and scared about the whole thing. And to top, I question if I'm doing the right thing. "Couldn't I do whatever it is that I need to do right here, with him?" No, I just don't think so.

I have come to realize that my great dissatisfaction has nothing to do with my sweet, loving, ex but with myself. I want to be more authentic. I want to be unapologetically me. And this I need to do on my own. I need to go down this road. This is simply what I need... even though sometimes I wish it weren't true.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I did not know you were still living together. I guess there is nothing to say if you're being civil with one another.

    You'll do great!