I need to be at work very early this week, so I've been catching the sunrise during my morning commute. This morning as I was waiting for my bus, sipping my coffee, watching the sunrise, I had a revelation.
Maybe I didn't get married because it's not what God has planned for me right now. Not because I don't know how to appreciate a good man and not because I may have commitment issues. Not because our relationship, our love wasn't strong enough and not because I don't want to be married. No. Maybe it's much more simple. I'm not getting married because it's not what I need be doing right now. And I want to be alone because that's what I need right now. There is no other reason for wanting to be alone except that it's what gives me peace at this moment in my life.
Funny how when I'm doing what I think I should be doing it only makes me miserable. Even if I don't understand why. I suppose this is God's way of nudging me in the right direction. I'm hardheaded so it's taken all this time for me to realize that. I need to have a little more faith in that voice that speaks to my heart.